What to expect when consulting a solicitor about separation or divorce for the first time

If you are consulting a solicitor for the first time regarding separation or divorce, it can seem daunting and overwhelming. The likelihood is that you are feeling quite emotional and worried about the future generally as well as being concerned about the legal costs of any separation.

How to make the process more efficient

1. Consulting a solicitor

Choosing a solicitor can take time. You may choose one based on a Google search of family lawyers in your area or from a recommendation of a trusted family member or friend. Family solicitors who are members of Resolution adhere to a code of practice, the aim of which is to resolve matters in the most amicable and constructive way possible and so they will be focused in resolving matters in a way that considers the needs of the whole family.

2. Consider taking someone with you to the initial meeting

Consider taking a close family member or friend with you to the initial meeting with the solicitor. They can take notes for you and help remember anything that you forget. They will also be able to give you moral support and the meeting will generally feel less daunting for you.

3. Organise your details

Prior to the meeting, send a concise email to your solicitor setting out the following details:

• Names, ages and dates of birth of you, your partner and children
• Occupations of you and your partner
• Schools attended by the children and the fees payable if they are attending private school
• Basic details of your worldwide income, assets, pensions and liabilities along with a broad summary of your monthly and annual expenditure, if possible
• Basic details of your partner’s worldwide income, assets, pensions and liabilities, and any other additional expenses that they may have, insofar as you are aware
• Details of any joint assets or liabilities held by you and your partner or jointly with anyone else
• Any assets in the names of the children
• Date of the marriage and/or start of cohabitation
• Details of any properties owned by you and your partner from the start of your relationship to date, including broad details of the purchase prices and the source of the funds invested in those properties
• Date of any separation, if appropriate
• If married, provide any premarital agreement entered into or if cohabiting, provide any cohabitation agreement entered into
• Details as to how you and your partner operate payment of bills, i.e. is everything paid from the one joint account or does one person put all expenses on a credit card which is then met from another account?

Start pulling together documents to confirm the figures you are providing in terms of assets and income and liabilities (as well as collating bank statements for the last 12 months for each account that you have or have an interest in). Also obtain up-to-date pension values, insofar as you can, in respect of your own finances (although these are not needed for a first meeting, it will be helpful to start collating them so that you are generally in a more organised position when consulting your solicitor).

4. Questions

You will no doubt have numerous questions for your solicitor. Write these out in readiness beforehand so that you have them to hand to ask in your initial meeting, although many of the queries you have will probably be dealt with by the solicitor during your meeting in any event.

5. Make sure that you ask about all of the options available to resolve matters

Your solicitor should explain different options to you and which option might be the most appropriate. This includes the court route, mediation, private hearings/arbitration, and discussions and negotiations through solicitors.

Mediation is a good way to try to keep costs to a minimum and to deal with matters amicably as you and your partner will see the mediator together ordinarily (although if you would rather see the mediator separately, this can be organised). This will cut down on the correspondence and communication between solicitors and mean that you use your solicitors for independent legal advice in between mediation sessions, which can help to contain the costs.

Private hearings/arbitration (where you and your partner agree on and pay for a Judge/Arbitrator) work well where some form of adjudication is required. For instance, if couples cannot resolve matters with the help of a mediator and their solicitors.

Remember that the more you can do in terms of organising paperwork/documents/and keeping all relevant emails together as well as communicating with your partner on issues regarding the children, assets, and liabilities, the better as that will reduce the time your solicitor has to spend on that work, therefore reducing your costs generally.

If you have any questions or concerns about consulting a family law specialist or mediator or any other family query, please contact Emma Harte.