What can you do if you are denied contact with your children?

Sometimes a divorce or relationship breakdown can lead to very high-conflict situations, particularly where children are involved. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for one parent, without justification, to engage in alienating behaviour to deny the other parent contact with their child(ren). Our family partner Victoria Furlong explains what you can do if you find yourself in this situation.

In some cases, one parent may make false or exaggerated allegations of misconduct, such as domestic abuse, or engage in manipulative behaviour to prevent the other parent from having contact with the child(ren). In some circumstances, one parent, determined to alienate the other parent, engages in alienating behaviour with a blatant disregard for the resulting emotional damage inflicted on the child(ren) and the accused parent.

It is the child(ren) caught in the middle of these conflicts who suffer the most. The impact on a child’s psychological well-being when caught between parents, or losing contact with one without justification, is profound and results in long-lasting, sometimes permanent, damage.

It is important to note that not all refusals to see one parent are caused by alienating behaviour of the other parent. For example, the child may naturally favour one parent due to their parenting experience; the child’s refusal may be based on a parent’s actions, such as harm or abuse by the other parent; and a parent may act to protect the child from harm or abuse by the other parent.

Do you suspect alienating behaviour?

A parent who is not seeing their child(ren) and who suspects the other parent is engaging in alienating behaviours should:

1. Keep detailed records of communications, any behaviour suggesting alienation and missed contact;
2. Not retaliate or engage in behaviour that could be construed as harmful to the child;
3. Focus on the child’s welfare; and
4. Seek urgent legal advice.

It is the court, not the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service or other experts, that determines whether alienating behaviours have occurred.

The court will prioritise the child’s welfare above all else. The courts can make specific Orders, such as a Child Arrangements Order, which specifies where a child lives, how much time they spend with each parent, and under what conditions. If one parent is found to have engaged in alienating behaviour, the court may adjust or reverse the child’s living arrangements to protect their relationship with the alienated parent.

For the court to make findings of alienating behaviour, it must be satisfied that:

• The child is reluctant, resisting or refusing to engage with a parent; and
• The child’s reluctance/resistance/refusal is not due to justified reasons or natural alignment; and
• The other parent has engaged in behaviours, directly or indirectly, leading to the child’s reluctance/resistance/refusal

How does the court deal with alienating behaviour?

In the case of RE O (A Minor) (Contact: Imposition of conditions) [1995], Bingham MR tried to set out guidelines for dealing with parental alienation and intractable cases. In the judgment, he stated, “In accordance with the welfare principle, it is the welfare of the child which is the Court’s overriding concern. Where a child’s parents are separated and he or she is in only one parent’s care, it is almost always in the interest of the child that he or she should have contact with the other parent.”

The later case of Re S (A Child – Transfer of Residence) [2010] showed a more extreme example of parental alienation. This case was litigated over years, whereby the courts did everything within their powers to encourage a relationship between the alienated child and his father. However, the transfer of residence failed and the father agreed to withdraw his application. As well as making an order that the child must live with the mother, the court made a supervision order to the local authority, indirect contact by the provision of school reports and photographs, and a s91(14) Children Act 1989 Order preventing further applications by either parent until the child reached the age of 16.

In Re A (A Child) (Parental alienation) [2019], the court considered evidence of parental alienation. Finding that the mother had turned the child against the father and alienated the father from the child’s life, the judge made an order that the child must live with the father.

Situations that involve alienating behaviours can be extremely distressing. It is important that legal advice is sought straight away to avoid the issue from escalating and to ensure the needs of the child are protected.

If you have questions or concerns about child arrangements and alienating behaviour, please contact Victoria Furlong.